My interview

Andrew Nevins interviewed me about a week ago and after translating it I decided to put it up here.

Andrew –“Well I just want to start by saying what an honor it is to be the first to interview you.”

Baron – “Yes it is.”

“Thank you. I’d like to start by asking you some questions about your past. What made you become a writer?”

“When I was seven years old I read The Iliad and The Odyssey. In the original Greek of course.”

“And they inspired you?”

“No, I thought ‘this is absolute crap, but it’s still famous. If this guy can be an author then so can I.’”

“Ah, I see. So as an author who touches on a wide variety of topics, what’s your favorite thing to write about?”

“I see magic in ordinary people. I love to just go outside and watch the average, uneducated, ignorant, vulgar masses walk by.”

“So do you go out into the crowd and pick an ‘ordinary’ person to talk to?”

“Of course not. Why would I want to talk to someone who’s uneducated, ignorant, and vulgar? It probably wouldn’t be safe.”

“I thought you said there was magic in ordinary people.”

“From a distance.”

“So as an inspirational writer, what are some of the things that inspire you?”

“Dance, a well-baked pastry, rich, attractive people.”

“I would ask you which of your works is your favorite, but I know that’s like asking which of your parents you like better.”

“That’s easy. My dad.”

“I really didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine. I never met my mother.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did your parents separate?”

“No, they both lived at home.”

“Then how did you never meet your mother?”

“She was very reclusive.”

“I mentioned this earlier, but you’re thought of by many as an inspirational figure and some (including me) would go so far as to call you a hero. What do you say to that?”

“That’s nonsense. I’m just an average guy who’s smarter, more talented, and wealthier then most people and who has great hair and does heroic things.”

“..…..I just ran out of questions.”

“Oh.”

“…..”

“This is uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry…..Wait, I’ve got something. As an author what is your greatest fear?”

“Drowning.”

“Anything more specific to being an author?”

“Drowning while writing”

“Well as a final question, do you have any words for anyone going through hard times?”

“I would just say that however bad it is now, it can, and probably will, get worse. So enjoy the only moderately difficult times while they last.”